What's Your Excuse, Now?: October 2010

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Harvest Fest!


Joyce - The Dead Bride Waiting
 
Mark the G-man rounding up the gang!
Brenda, Tiffany, Cheryl, Janice, Sharese!


Tiffany & Cheryl!


Brenda, Tiffany & Cheryl!

The G-man posing with Machine Gun Kelly & the gang!



 
Tiffany styling the Harlem Look!
Renaissance Woman!
 
Alice in Wonderland OJP Style!
 
Glenda, LT & Amy!


48 Hours Before Change!

November 2nd is Election Day!  We can either move forward or go backwards!  Vote for common sense and reason!  It might be hard to find any candidates that use those fundamental qualities but please vote!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Racism Is Over? Says Who?


High school students are hit by a high-pressure water jet from a firehose during a protest in Birmingham, Alabama, in 1963, as photographed by Charles Moore.

Bill Hudson's image of Parker High School student Walter Gadsden being attacked by dogs was published in The New York Times on May 4, 1963.

This is continuation of the previous entry.  When an Afro-American President was elected it meant to some people that America was ready for change and that it was the end of racial separation.  How can that be when there are still simple issues regarding just flying the Confederate Flag?   To some its a symbol of heritage and hate.   The flag shouldn’t even be an issue.  Illiteracy among teens and adults, teen pregnancy, unemployment, gangs, and just downright disrespect for the elders are serious problems, to name just a few.   In other words, we have a lot to overcome and fifty years since the Civil Rights Act is just not enough time.  Good and bad eggs come in every box.   Bad eggs always stink but you never know when you open the box.  You have to crack the egg.  Now sometimes you can get an idea that you have a bad egg(s) in the box and sometimes you can’t.  The stink is confined inside the shell.  But once the egg(s) face the heat from the frying pan, you’ll find out real quick.  There are good and bad people everywhere, we even work with some of them.  They can walk right by you and not say a word.  Sometimes, you might even hear a grunt but they can look right at you and not see you.  I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about.  I’m not saying these people are racists, this can happen within a race.  I am saying these people have issues far deeper than they would admit.  Maybe they’re miserable, unhappy, and just don’t like the life their living.  I’m willing to give them the benefit of a doubt.  But, there are some people who just don’t want to get along with others and would prefer that we all remain separate.  Personally, we all need each other.  You can’t make healthy meals without mixing the right ingredients.  We need each other to survive and accept the fact that our diversity can help our growth.  Many of us minorities have been poor all of our lives and were never taught how to spend our money responsibly.  You have to understand when we did get jobs our pay were less than our white counterparts and our loan payments and interest rates were much higher.  Let’s face it, inequality and racial biasness is rough.   I’m not making excuses, I’m giving an explanation.  And for some, once they do make a little money, they make frivolous purchases instead of paying the loans down and becoming more financially secure.  Who can our youth look up to?  Too many entertainers and athletes are spending their money on many purchases that are questionable.  Remember, it’s their money but it would help the community with educational purposes and at the same time be an example for these kids to manage their dreams for success.  I ventured off the subject because there is too much not to be ignored in our society today.  When will America come together as truly one nation under God?

Friday, October 22, 2010

Don’t Put Your Faith In Polls, Get Off Your Duff, Go Vote!

I know how surveys work and I know what they set out to achieve.  But who I don’t know are any of the people that have been polled.  I don’t have a huge circle of friends and associates but I do know quite a few people and they say that they haven’t been polled.  What makes matters worse is that so many people believe that the polls have the final word on who’s elected.  That is pitiful because these so-called poll results managed to convince folks sitting on the fence, not to vote.  They feel that it’s no use voting since the polls say that one candidate is ahead of the other.  “What’s the point of me voting”, they say.  Or, “My vote won’t count.”  Voting is a privilege and an opportunity to voice your feelings about local, state, and national government.  Too many people, young & old, Black & White have given their lives for this right.  And yet, there are too many people who don’t see the real picture.  Don’t let these people die in vain.  And don’t give up on your beliefs.  This nation is at a turning point in its history.  People are so outspoken that they have become hateful, spiteful, and nasty.  Mean voices are calling people dogs and animals.  Emails sent with racist humor but its okay.  Where those foul emails years ago?  Voices are saying that this country is going in the wrong direction and that they want their country back.  I’m concerned on many fronts from these words.  Wrong direction?  For whom?  Their country back? Their being whom?  I grew up in the Jim Crow era and when the Civil Rights Act passed, I remember this same hostility and hate.  Get real, people, minorities had their place and it wasn’t in leadership positions, especially, as President of the United States with a funny name.  It’s a shame that so many people still carry such resentful feelings towards minorities.  And if given the opportunity, they’ll turn this nation back to the direction of separation and returned to those hypocrites that want to continue those old racial practices.  And don’t even try to play me with political correctness or if you don’t agree with the President, then everyone else is a racists.  Don’t fool yourself because you are not fooling me.  Show your true self and I’ll respect you as a person.  Hell, we don’t have to agree on everything but because you think you’re right doesn’t make me wrong, either.  The Democrats think that because you’re a minority you’re supposed to vote their way.  Wrong!  My vote is not to be taken for granted.  The Republicans used to be the party of Lincoln who had sincere values and concerns but lost it to the ultra-conservatives who seemed to see the world only through eyes like theirs.  My affiliation has never been taken for granted with them then, but now as a moderate and a minority, it doesn’t even matter.  Personally, my perception of the Republicans has changed.  This country needs a stronger third party and I am not talking about the Tea Party.  Where were they the past 8 years?  I guess nothing was wrong then.  The country was still going deeper in depth with an unnecessary war, forget about the direction.  The country was just fine so it didn’t need to be taken back.  People have short memories but that’s the way they are.  Too bad they still have a problem of acceptance.  These are my views, my feelings, I’m writing.  I’m not giving up on what so many people sacrificed and died for.  Our soldiers and sailors are still fighting and dying for all of us to voice our opinions.  I know that I appreciate what they are doing because I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing now.  Remember to vote November 2nd!  Exercise your right while you still have it!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Happy Birthday, Mom!

I thank God for blessing me with 56 wonderful years with the best mother in the world!  I hope many of you feel the same way about your mom being the best mom in the world.  If she was still here, this would have been her 80th birthday.  I will always love you, Mom!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Golden Rules For Finding Your Life Partner


Relationship coach, Rabbi Dov Heller, M. A., lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: “We’re in love.” I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone).Though this may sound not politically correct, there’s a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:

Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important?

Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. Fifty percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life bottom line – and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:

Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished” or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:

Is he/she a mensch?  A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.
How can you test?

Here are some suggestions:

Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as “someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing.”

So ask about your significant other:

What do they do with their time?
Is this person materialistic?

Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:

How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following:

1) How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver
    etc?
2) How do they treat parents and siblings?
3) Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
4) Do they show respect?

If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they’ll have gratitude for you - who can’t do nearly as much for them!

Do they gossip and speak badly about others?

Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:

Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it, “You can probably expect someone to change after marriage... for the worse!” If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

“When A Person’s Temper Gets The Best Of Him, It Reveals The Worst Of Him.“

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Thoughts!

Most of my young adult life, I sought after riches, fame and love.  I thought I found love but the others were always beyond my reach.  I’d gain a little and lost some but never considered myself successful.  I’ve even lost relationships because they felt I wasn’t making enough money or showed enough material gain for them, even my love wasn’t considered loyal enough.  It becomes a challenge when you think you’re always being tested.  In the process, I realized that I was blessed that even though I didn’t always have what I wanted, but I didn’t lack for anything I needed.  I was always contented but still tried to grab the brass ring.  I’ve seen enough of those that were considered “successful” struggled so much that they never had time to sit back and enjoy their results.  They wanted more.  Some laid awake in the middle of the night wondering and hoping that they’ll make the payments on the eye candy that were being shown to the public.  Yes, they left me because I wasn’t making the money they wanted, but my God, my God, He never left me.  And I am still happy!  It just goes to show you that the standards of success are in the eyes of the beholder.  I’ve been searching for the wrong things.  As a young man, my faith was in what I could do.  I limited myself because it was not enough.  Young people should seek wisdom and understanding while they are still young.  Faith and patience will follow!  Remember that your faith in God will accept the fact that you are where He wants you to be.  So be patient and faithful, God will never leave you.  It is still never too late to develop faith. God is good all of the time!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Suit Up!!!


Times are getting tougher every day!  People are literally getting hostile.  Look around you, they are mean, frustrated, and uncivil.  Our politicians, religious leaders, radio celebrities, and TV personalities can insult you, apologize, and still mean what they originally said.  This country has become a nation of fear and hate and the loudest voices, though a minority is being heard the most.  Get your suit of armor on, people.  Election draws near and the candidates that we have to choose are questionable.  Some of them do not have the American interests at heart but they say they hear the peoples’ voices.  We might be going back in time, folks.  State’s rights will take away some civil rights and if we think times are bad now, if some appeals and repeals are made and accepted, we haven’t seen anything, yet.  Forget about jobs, public safety, and all social programs.  America is prepared to raise some of the most uneducated people in the world.  And some of our leaders prefer keeping us dumb, anyway.  Then we won’t be able to see through their lies.  Put on the suit of righteousness and pray that we listen the Holy Comforter words.  We need help and right now its all about getting rich off of somebody else.  Big businesses got these politicians in their pockets and they will lie, cheat and steal to keep it.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Heartaches & Headaches!!!


Heartaches & headaches,
I refuse to be the cause.
Listening to friends’ wrong advice
sometimes carry a lying noise.

We can work out our own
problems, if we truly care.
It’s up to you to believe
the envy that they bare.

So we’ll go our separate ways,
I won’t hold you back.
I wish you God’s blessing
that you receive all things good
whenever you ask.









   "A Part of Things"
      Ejothian S. Litman

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Stand Up Against Domestic Violence


This past Saturday morning, I walked at The Mayor’s Walk Against Domestic Violence.  I was invited by a very, very, special friend to walk with her sister and their friends for this worthy cause.  Criminal Domestic Violence doesn’t get a lot of attention until it affects home still it doesn’t receive enough media coverage it deserves.  It was remarkable to look over the sea of smiling, energetic, beautiful faces that many of these beautiful women had been abused at one time or another in their lives.  For all I know, some of them are still being abused but were there to support their sisters.  Just observing their actions, I would have never believed that some of these ladies suffered so much by the hands of a man who said that he loved them. There were men and sons present, too.  I don’t know what it takes to leave an abusive relationship but I believe it worth doing.  Talk to someone, find some organization that can help you leave safely.  There was a son who attended the walk and recently witnessed the death of his mother had over a hundred supporters that held him up.  Everyone whatever the reason, they were there at least to support the loved ones in their lives, at least I was.  Abuse, physical, verbal, emotional, and even spiritual crosses all lives, genders, races, and ages.  It destroys and leaves on some people a permanent imprint of distrust and unwillingness to love again.  My friend’s sister, Sharon, wrote a sad, detailed and poignant article titled “It Should Take A Village:  Criminal Domestic Violence And The African American Community.”  Sharon speaks quite candid of how domestic violence took the life of her brother and how it reared its ugly head in her own life.  This is an article worth reading!  It’s published in the Midlands Live, October 2010 Edition.  One major point worth discussing is that in the state of South Carolina, “Domestic Violence is a misdemeanor while chicken fighting is a felony.”  How ironic that the life of a human being has less worth than an animal!  Is it any wonder why our politicians are more concerned about big money organizations than the citizens of this state?  Yet, they say they hear the people.  Which people are they listening to?  The Attorney General of South Carolina is making a concerted effort to train law enforcement officers, judges, attorneys and victim advocates on Criminal Domestic Violence.  This program is called Services Training Officers and Prosecutors (S.T.O.P.).   I learned quite a lot about CDV writing this entry.  Maybe, not enough.  I want to thank Sharon for the certificate and T-Shirt, you didn’t have to do it.  This walk was something I wanted to do.  I appreciate your thoughtfulness.  Pray my brothers and sisters for each other so that we can have a better respect for each others’ values.

Friday, October 8, 2010

“Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachthani?”

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”  These words were cried out in anguish and pain by the ManGod, Jesus Christ, as he hangs dying on the cross.  The Son of God even questions His doubt in His Father, our God.  Now if Jesus questions His Father, then our human side in us has doubted God one time or other in our lives.  Jesus seems to be quoting the Old Testament Psalm 22:1.  Why is God so far us when we seem to need him in the midst of our crying?  David temporarily questions but knows that God is whom his forefathers trusted and was delivered.  Psalm 22:5 said, “They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.”  Psalm 22:11 said, “Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help.”  The Psalmist is definitely facing trials and tribulations.  When God spoke to His people, He called their name twice to let them know that it God who is calling them.  Listen how Christ and David both cry out, “My God, my God!”  How powerful do those words sound?  Do you think they will get God’s attention?  They did not say Oh my God, but My God, my God.  They called on the God that knows the exact number of hairs on our heads and what is in our hearts that will answer.  Christ gave his life willingly for the atonement of man’s sins so that we can have everlasting joy with Him and His Father. I can imagine when Christ first cried out those words, Eli, Eli that the devil and all of his legions cheered when they thought that Christ had weakened.  I can also imagine that it was short-lived because when Christ died He broke the gates of Hell.  Not only that, Christ still forgave man seconds before His death.  No greater love than forgiveness and giving your life.  Christ had an even heavier burden than the cross to carry, yet he did for the very people that hated, tortured, and mocked Him.  Now that is what I call self-control.  If you had the power to give life, change it or take it against your enemies, what would you do?  As a human, doing the right thing might be hard to do.  Christ had that power but He remained obedient to His Father.  At the same time, as God, He gave His mortal life to save His childrens' souls.  Yes, this entry is a follow-up to God’s existence.  I want to also give Reverend Colley credit for our discussion on his own sermon that supported God’s existence and love for us.  Too bad we don’t know how to love ourselves.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Does God Exists? At Least For Me, He Does!!!


Man has been trying to answer this question for centuries.  Scientists, biologists, and even politicians have thrown their hats in the ring.  And now, don’t think I’m trying to enter the arena because I won’t.  My question is, do angels exist?  If you think angels exist and I’m sure that they do, then there must be a superior being who created them.  If you think that none of the above exists then that’s your issue, not mine.  I personally think that God and angels exist.  Even our brightest scientists and doctors can’t figure out how the human body was formed and how it functions to survive. I’m not going to tackle this subject; I just want to bring attention to it.  I saw the show, GLEE, “Grilled Cheesus” the other night and the writers approached this subject with fairness, sensitivity, and respect to believers and nonbelievers.  Young people have their own opinions about spirituality not always the same that might have been handed down.  Everybody wants to believe in something and/or somebody. We look for peace and truth in our lives to fulfill something.  Many of us seek answers from our own personal God.  At times, we seem doubt God but we’re actually doubt ourselves. We doubt our personal trust in God because we think that He’s not doing what we want Him to do.  Either He’s not moving fast enough or it’s usually not the way we want Him to.  Our trust and faith are constantly tested but they are strengthened by our patience in God.  It’s not easy because we are so used to giving up without fighting back.  That’s why so many of us are easily persuaded by others because we’re not strong enough.  We have to accept the fact that we are weak and made strong by the grace of God who is our rock and salvation.  God will have His way, in His time.  But His decision will always be the right one.  Well, now you see my position, I’m a believer.

Monday, October 4, 2010

My Niece, Teria!

Teria sang "Summertime" when she was 13 years old!  She recently won her school's talent show singing "At Last" by Etta James!  You'll be hearing more from this rising star!  Believe it!

The Road Seems Long & Lonely!

I don’t believe any of us are exempt from dealing with obstacles and personal situations in this life.  It doesn’t matter the type because these bumps or mountains can range from being in relationships, beginning relationships, and ending relationships to everything else including but not always involving, mental, social, financial, religious and economic struggles.  So, understand this, everybody deals with something and it depends on the effect the situation has on us.  Some of us face the problem straight up, some find buffers to handle it, and some try to avoid the problem completely.  What could have been handled immediately now festers and becomes a major issue that usually requires outside help because we couldn’t deal with it.  In turn, we put the stress on the people that are close to us and if they can’t help, they are wrong and don’t care.  The pot is now calling the kettle a pitcher.  We don’t realize that the people we ask to help and can’t at the time just might be going through their own struggles, too.  We’re so caught up that we become selfish dealing with our needs caused usually by our own actions that we neglect to think that we are not the only ones struggling.  We all have good days and better days.  Sometimes the very thing we hold so close and dear is the first thing that we lose.  Our priorities can be attached to the wrong things.  We have to learn to look at life in a more positive view.  We need help to get us there.  When all else fails, we call on the Lord and if the help doesn’t come in a timely manner, we’re disappointed.  Keep in mind, we don’t usually think about God when everything seems to be running smoothly.  We think that we don’t need Him and when we do He’s the last resort.  We could always blame Him for these problems.  And what have we learned?  Maybe God doesn’t like us treating Him like a statute.  Maybe He doesn’t appreciate being the third wheel.  Maybe, He’s around us all of the time and don’t like being ignored.  I believe that God wants us to develop a relationship with Him and get Him involved in our lives in everything that we do.  I believe that He is always there for us but if we think negative all of the time we fail to see the positive and good in what we do.  He wants us to know that even if we feel lonely, we are never alone.  Don’t give in or up to despair or discouragement.  Wait on the Lord!  Trust Him!  Let Him work His Will for us!  It’s all about our attitude.  I won’t push my beliefs on anyone.  I struggle, too.  But, I always got through.  I know how I got through and who helped me get through it.  Do you?  Talk to Him, He will work you and He’ll work it out for you!

YouTube Dancing, Old School Style!

               I found a new video on YouTube that got my attention lately.  They aren’t doing anything fancy or particular about it except ...