What's Your Excuse, Now?: August 2015

Monday, August 10, 2015

An Open Letter To My Baby Brother, 1954-2015!

March 2, 1954 - July 24, 2015
We got you back home, Austin. It’s been a challenging two weeks for us but even tougher for you and the years of suffering. You played it off with me as long as you could but the pain would not let you hide it any longer. I am so grateful that the children saw you in those last days. It wasn’t easy for them then and it definitely was not any better at your celebration. You have some beautiful children and I always thought you were so blessed to have them. You have a son that favors you and a daughter that favors her mother.  And a wife that is loyal and supportive. I found that so awesome! There is so much to be thankful for.

You would have been proud. Unity Mortuary conducted it with class and dignity. It was a fantastic tribute and the Colonel oversaw all of the details. I know, I have always called Melinda; Colonel. It was meant to respect for her rank. As you know, I am very proud of her for her military achievements and her soon to have doctorate. I never meant it to sound impersonal by not calling her Melinda. I enjoy calling her colonel. She provided the pictures for a slide show that included the family, you and mom. I saw a side of you that I never knew. I guess we both are private people and keep our feelings suppressed for fear of reprisals. I still have a tough time letting people in. I also know that we are both stubborn individuals. You never got a chance to meet April.

Devin and Melinda read some beautiful poems and Teria got up to stand beside Devin when he started to fill up with tears and struggled to go on. But he got it together. It was a beautiful tribute. Speaking of Teria, that young lady can truly sing. As you, mom and Nana look down on us with prayer, you will see her rise to fame. She has a lovely voice and that song she sang brought tears, shouts and thunderous clapping. It’s called “Hope You Can Dance.” Gladys Knight sang it in the “Family That Preys.” Lee Ann Womack sings it, too! Another song that stood out was “I Look To You” by Whitney.

Tia and your grands, Michale, Calim and I forgot the name of the oldest, made it. I had not seen her over 20+ years. I still recognized her as she, too, favors her mother. I told them all at the celebration that I will call them at least once a month to stay in better contact. I can’t be responsible for waiting to see our family during grieving situations. I need to also keep in touch when things are well. Our cousin Robert has always been that person. I mailed Aunts Babb and Dot the program.

It still hasn’t dawned on me that you and I can’t talk or disagree anymore. The movie “Kingdom Come” is on and I can’t help but think of us when we were kids and became adults. I am so grateful (blessed) that we reconciled last year but deep inside I am feeling the loss. When mom left, the world took on a different view, now there’s another view and it’s getting better how I view it. It’s hard for me to let go, Austin, it’s really tough. I couldn’t truly cry until 3 months after mom and I think it was a TV commercial that triggered it.

I have so much to talk about but even if you were around, I probably would not even think about it. I wonder why when people are gone from our lives we are ready to talk but not always knowing what to talk about?


The kids kept some of your ashes for their rings and bracelets. They spread the rest over the lake and Anderson. Jewelry that holds loved ones remains, never knew that. I’m getting old. I’m glad you’re back home, You will always be my baby brother, Austin. I love you!

Always Valuable!

            My wife and I visited Mother Bennett this past weekend.  At 102, she’s still feisty and quick-witted.  Her granddaughters have a...